I Can't Cook & That's Okay

I've been invited by neighbors to join them at a dear friend's house for Thanksgiving dinner next week. These same friends have invited me before and I've always, as is habit graciously declined. I'm convinced I've grown anxiety issues when it comes to traveling or visiting people.

I couldn't keep saying "no", seriously, so I finally accepted. Then came waves of worries: What do I wear and what should I bring? I don't cook and don't really know how to. I'm the single guy in the bunch and single guys usually get away with bringing things like chips and paper plates to these types of things. Everybody's got one of those bachelor uncles or single guy friends they remember from childhood who'd come over at holidays, not having any family of his own near by. At my house, it would sometimes be my creepy Uncle Johnny (I think that's his name. He's distant.) In my 9 year old mind, I'd ridicule him and shred him like a bitchy gossip columnist for never bringing anything aside from napkins or a box of chocolates. "UNACCEPTABLE! When I grow up, I'll bring tasteful gift baskets for my host and a gourmet dish prepared by my own cook." Yeah, I was 9.

So I'm thinking something on the stove top would be simple enough, especially since my oven has never been turned-on. I use it to store some of those old clothes I was talking about yesterday. I'm serious. But I have to bring something and it worries me to a cold sweat.

Darryll, my neighbor said "Oh just some wine or chips." I said "NO! I insist. Just because I'm single doesn't mean I shouldn't bring anything. So tell me what I can bring. A vegetable maybe?" Safe enough. "Well, you can bring some asparagus if you'd like and I can tell you how to cook it if you have problems..." "Asparagus? Eh, okay."

Well, I have no idea what asparagus is aside from a vegetable. I couldn't remember if it's the white lumpy thing that looks warts or the long green things. I knew it was one of them. I had to look it up on Google. Only now, I have no idea how to cook such vile weeds. I'm thinking of just bringing a bag of Tostitos and some salsa

That's all..

Posted by JD on November 14, 2007 11:44 AM