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Jan
28 |
 There appears to be no stopping the Barack Obama freight train as the neophyte Illinois Senator continues entrancing wild-eyed college students and NOW, the Democratic establishment in supporting his bid for the Democratic nomination.
Add to the list, sadly, the Lion of the U.S. Senate and my own Senator Teddy Two-Shot Kennedy. In endorsing O this afternoon, Kennedy even went as far to compare the whipper-snapper with his own famous brother and late president John F. Kennedy, but you knew that already, didn't you?
There's something terribly wrong with the Dems falling into near lockstep behind a guy no one seems to know anything about, nor do they seem to care. They're also blind to the fact ultra right wing Republicans are waiting with baited breath and frothing mouths to see Obama win the nomination as the guy has hardly a chance of winning the Oval Orifice, leaving us possibly with the scary realization of a President Huckabee or a flip-flopping, greasy-haired Mitt Romney. How STUPID ARE THESE PEOPLE? Not the Repubs, the Dems?! Seriously, how friggin blind can an entire political establishment be? If I were Hillary, I'd be pissed. Can you imagine if she DOES get the nomination and if she DOES win the White House? Girlfriend is gonna serve-up some medieval pay-back. All the more reason to grab your popcorn and prayer beads, it's gonna be a long, nail-biting but interesting political year. As for Kennedy, somebody drive this old coot off a bridge; he stinkin-up the joint.
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Jan
27 |
 It's been 3 weeks tonight since my mom left so abruptly and I've had a rock in my belly all day. It's the worse kind of heartache, the type I thought I'd only experienced once when my late partner died, but this is unique and special on its own, nothing compares. Under most extreme circumstances, I would call her when I was feeling this low, initiate a conversation then wait for the right minute to start whimpering, breaking out into a full-throttle cry. I can't do that anymore because she's gone, and my cries are for her. Not like I can call daddy, and doing that to my sister or little brother would be unfair and selfish at best. But my heart aches, really bad and especially tonight. I'm sure the Sunday night blues aren't helping any. God I wish it were spring or summer, I need it so bad. God hates me, I'm convinced.
There has been unexpected snow in Boston all day today. I think we were expecting some, but not what we ended up getting. Ugh, it's the sloppy kind also, a couple of inches of accumulation and luckily melting on sidewalks and streets; but it leaves a sloppy, dark slush behind, causing sloppy shoes and muddy puppy dog paws which then have to be wiped clean before coming-in and scampering around on the clean floors.
OHOHOH OBAMA
Seems like the Democrat glitterati are lining-up to endorse prez candidate and neophyte Sen. Obama. I'm no Hillary fan but come on; Hillary hasn't galvanized more support than THIS? It's pretty rotten in my book that even Caroline Kennedy has lauded the Oprah candidate as a potential "president like my father" while endorsing him in a New York Times op-ed piece this morning. You're kidding, right? No? Come on, seriously? Local reports say Sen. Ted Kennedy will follow Caroline's endorsement with one of his own tomorrow. I don't understand the Obama freight train and the way he's simply flown-in out of nowhere, hasn't completed his first term as a U.S. Senator and seems to get a complete pass on the litmus test of experience. I mean, how many times have YOU heard anyone in the media questioning the guy's experience or lack thereof? Am I missing something? Sheesh! No wonder I feel such a disconnect with the Dems.
STATE OF DEPRESSION
President Bush will give his eighth and final State of the Union address tomorrow night and while I'm not holding out hope for any major news, I DO hope he'll outline his final year in office and give us a glimpse of something good to come. War war war! I'm just so sick of it; I'm ready for something happy, even if it's bullshit. It's been a long 8 years George and I think it's time we heard something about rainbows and sunshine and shining cities on the hill and shit like that, even if it IS just smoke up our collective asses. So, say something happy and let the long national nightmare come to its much over-due ending.
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Jan
15 |
 So many little to-dos after the funeral, not that it's required of me. I think I take after mom in that way; need to send 'thank you' notes to all the folks who brought food, sent flowers, made calls, etc. etc. etc. Do I send a letter to her little brother, my uncle who'd estranged himself from my mom and aunt for over two decades? Yes, yes I think I will. And I have. Look into headstones. My brother and sister carried the moral weight and more all during the funeral planning process, so I've decided to take care of the headstone. It's all so sad and unbelievable. She was supposed to get very old, fade and die and tell us kids who should get what;not necessarily in that order. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. I was supposed to hold her hand and kiss her before she left, but that didn't happen either. Life isn't fair and apparently, neither is God, but we knew that already, didn't we?
The day after she died my brother found letters she'd written at some point to each of the three kids, my dad and each of the three grandchildren. That was my mother, getting the last word in. I haven't read mine and I'm not sure when I will. Tom's insisting I go away with him to Provincetown for a few days later this week so maybe I'll read it there, on the beach, like a scene from one of those Lifetime movies. Only I know my mother, the letter will not be a lite-hearted one.
My niece's letter explained how much mom loved her, then turned into a 'you're going to hell if you don't dedicate your life to the Lord' manifesto. My little brother's stated mom's pride in and love for him. My sister and I know better, we'll not get off as easily. RJ's will be similar to that of my niece, perhaps slightly more preachy. Mine however will express love, but fire and brimstone unless I take a wife and make lots and lots of babies, or at minimal declare celibacy and swear-off gay pride. Either way, I'm not looking forward to reading it even though masochistic curiosity will eventually win.
Right now I need coffee and a few loads of laundry done. Boston is cold and my tolerance for living here is becoming thin. Why didn't I take that job in San Diego when they offered it to me. I have one-more relocation in me before I decide to settle down and wait for middle age. Where should I go if not here? Anybody have a beach house you'd like to donate?
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Jan
12 |
 On Sunday night, January 6 at 11:45pm my mom slipped away from us. Well, there was no 'slip' to it. She was whisked away, no warning. BAM! One minute she's having dinner with my dad and little brother and sister-in-law at a local eatery, the next she's gone. One of her babies 1800 miles away, unable to get to her in time to say a proper goodbye and to beg her not to go. In just under 72 hours, mom went from happy seemingly fine with only the challenges of severe arthritis, fibromyalgia and a few other tough but treatable issues to being gone. We're not sure how, or why. Pathology reports could be weeks or months in coming. Our little family hit hard, my dad is stunned and lost without his sweetheart of 48 years. My sister lost without her biggest fan, greatest antagonist and most trusted ally, my little brother, only 32, too young to be without the best friend he's ever known; his wife, lost without the lady who'd become a second mother. I'm sad and angry and my heart is broken. I want answers. I want to know why she left, why they couldn't stop whatever took her away, why they couldn't slow it down, why she couldn't hang on just a few more hours. I want to know why they don't know why. I want my mom.
I know plenty of folks all over the world come here for one reason or another, and I appreciate over 100 messages I've received offering support and prayers: I won't forget it.
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Jan
6 |
 It's been a sad, surreal 48 hours for my little family. I'm 1800 miles away from McComb, Mississippi but tonight, my brother and sister and dad and sister-in-law are all keeping vigil for my frail little mother who was taken to the hospital just night before last. The problem is confounding the medical staff but with this message, I'm soliciting as many prayers and good thoughts from as many folks as I can get.
What we thought was some pancreal issue is still undetermined. Several hours ago, my mother's blood pressure plummeted and things began to shut-down. As I type, she's in emergency surgery and while they're not sure what they're looking for at this point, everyone's hoping for a stop-gap. The doc's have called all family to the hospital......this, happening to a woman who has shown no signs of life threatening illness, ever. So you can understand while we're all in shock tonight. I'm far away and hope to be there soon. I also hope to be able to show mom this post so she'll see what a good boy I've been and make me a buttermilk pie before I fly home to Boston. But either way, please keep her, Annette, in your thoughts and prayers; and even my sister RJ and brother DE and my dad. Right now, out little family is falling apart and the very seam which binds us, hoping God will see fit to patch us up, make us better and bring my mom home where she belongs.
-JD
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Thanks for your support!
-JD
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