Goodbye Normal Rockwell

We were never one of those families and we liked it that way. Unconventional as we were, around our Thanksgiving table my mom always made sure we had a glutton's load of food, homemade pies, & cakes for weeks. We had a nicely-set table and sat down at early afternoon to devour what was laid before us, with leftovers for days to come. There were always the random family members or friends; my drunken granddad who would periodically land on our doorstep, always insisting on being a nomad so the visits wouldn't last long. A pill-popping grandmother (both being from my dad's side of the family, don't ask me why), sweet and entertaining in her own way who always came with endless supplies of Tums and bathed in Ben-Gay the way some old ladies douse themselves with cheap cologne.

I never thought of that scene as Rockwellian but as I've become older, it now seems as idealistic as a June Cleaver dinner party. Ahh, those were the days. Coincidentally, my birthday typically fell the day of, the day before or the day after. Sometimes I felt downright cheated; "No Jay, the pecan pie IS your birthday cake." But more times than not, I scored a great birthday cake and party. It all seems pretty much perfect now.

Thirty-years later, not so much. Our mom is gone. This was the first holiday without her, if you'd call it that. . We hadn't had one of those holidays around my parents' table in years, but the fact that mom and dad were here and the family there when I chose and/or was able to show-up made it feel safe and idealistic nonetheless. Not so much this year. One less mom, a new, self-proclaimed matriarch who really isn't, sibling feuding and rivalry on running full throttle, hypersensitivity and even clinical paranoia was also in play. Kids recoiled and hotel rooms were ordered-up, a random aunt and rogue cousin, five dogs coming and going...and going...and going. It made returning to the rainy, frigid northeast almost welcoming if not normal.

I'll miss all that baking and having a sense of being able to go 'home' for the holidays. I'll miss a family tree and mom's dateloaf and being teased about my age: I'll miss 'us', but time moves on. Then again, mom's cornbread dressing made an appearance and the turkey was good, so it wasn't all so bad. *burp*

Posted by JD on November 30, 2008 3:56 PM