Anybody remember that little 7-year-old peach who took his memaw's car for a joyride last month? His name's Latarian Milton and he said he did it because "doing bad things is fun" and he wanted to do "hood rat stuff with friends." Well, little precious has struck again. Literally. Latarian was taken in for a mental health evaluation after he beat down memaw inside a Wal-Mart in South Florida over some chicken wings. Yes, chicken wings. This stuff writes itself. The grandma, Vikkita Stratford, told WPBF-TV it all started when porkchop asked her to buy him some chicken wings at Wal-Mart. When she refused, Latarian demanded them anyway. Vikkita went to confront him and that's when the party started. "He just started hitting me -- just started hitting me in front of the whole Wal-Mart. Every one in there was upset." Vikkita said. Latarian was taken to a local hospital by police for a 72-hour mental health evaluation. Vikkita blames his parents. She said all he's ever seen is his parents doing "physical and abusive and verbal things." She also worried about what might happen once he gets released. She better be! Vikkita better lock all her doors, sleep with a bat by her bed and keep a necklace of garlic around her neck, although porkchop would likely eat it off before commencing with another beat-down. It sounds harsh, but let's hope this fat waste of flesh doesn't live to see 18 lest the victims become higher in number and the crimes more horrid. At the very least, lets hope for a lobotomy that will keep this charmer incapacitated for the rest of his days because judging from the video above, shot last month during his first major infraction, there's no hope for this one.]]> tag:www.badboyscout.com,2008://1.534 2008-05-11T23:06:44Z 2008-05-11T23:13:13Z

I've been SO sick the last week so maybe that's why my first mother's day without my mom didn't seem all that more difficult or sad than the last four months since she went away. Still, I've been thinking of...

JD I've been SO sick the last week so maybe that's why my first mother's day without my mom didn't seem all that more difficult or sad than the last four months since she went away. Still, I've been thinking of her a little extra today, it comes in waves that wash over me and I try my best not to think about her or her last words to me. My sister and brother no doubt have had their sad thoughts today as well, but they have spouses and families at their side, God bless 'em, so I think that helps numb it a little bit. I keep debating whether or not I should call my dad. I haven't talked to him since last Sunday and it isn't like I WANT to call him. It hurts too much, but maybe I will. When I think of my mom, I'll always think of lavender, but for no particular reason. It was my grandmother's favorite color and scent, my mom liked it too but she never made a big fuss over it. Still, anything somewhat purpley makes me think of her. Lavender and yellow roses, her favorite. I'll always think of her when I see Bells of Ireland, the green fluted flowers often used to accentuate flower arrangements. She'd grown fond of Hibiscus the last few years. My mother was not supposed to die and we still have absolutely no idea how or why, really we don't. And we're all too battled weary to pick the fight up and begin badgering and threatening law suits against the coroner until we know for sure. Some days I'm more bitter and angry than others and if you tell me "knowing more won't bring her back or make you feel better", well, you can kiss my ass. I don't suggest you say that to my face either. Today's a bitter day, does it show? Happy Mother's Day. ]]> tag:www.badboyscout.com,2008://1.529 2008-05-09T20:01:56Z 2008-05-09T20:03:50Z

Would it absolutely KILL you to say "thank you" when I hold a door open for your lazy, self-centered, self-entitled asses? When you're barreling down the center of a walkway or hallway and I plaster myself against the wall to...

JD Would it absolutely KILL you to say "thank you" when I hold a door open for your lazy, self-centered, self-entitled asses? When you're barreling down the center of a walkway or hallway and I plaster myself against the wall to get out of YOUR way, yet I say "excuse me", would it hurt you to return the pardon or ask for me to excuse YOU? I mean, if I'm going out of my way to be a gentleman, to be polite and act like a decent human being, is there any reason you can't? I realize you (those of you I'm talking about, and you know who you are) were raised to act entitled and to believe men are supposed to treat you like superior creatures based solely on your sex, primarily those of you who are white and thin. But somewhere along life's road, have you missed every lesson of common courtesy? Is it intentional? Do you simply not care, or just not aware of it? Please, at least ACT like you have some decency. At least give me a fucking SMILE when I stop what I'm doing to hold your door open because one day, you might be bitching about not having it done. A simple, periodic "THANK YOU" from time to time, or "EXCUSE ME" would go a long FUCKING WAY! Thanks, I feel better now. ]]> tag:www.badboyscout.com,2008://1.528 2008-05-09T00:04:31Z 2008-05-09T00:16:08Z

So this morning I keep hacking up pieces of my lung. Not really but it feels that way. I've had like three cups of herbal green tea because two weeks at my sister's house seems to have given me some...

JD So this morning I keep hacking up pieces of my lung. Not really but it feels that way. I've had like three cups of herbal green tea because two weeks at my sister's house seems to have given me some sort of respiratory issue. Oh yeah, serious. God love RJ, she's our new matriarch now that mom's gone away, but she's grown into an official unapologetic chain smoker: and if you're gonna flip the middle finger in the face of fate and the Surgeon General's warning, well, unapologetic is what you might as well be. I think she's up to two and a half packs a day, but if you wanna know for sure, YOU ask her, I'm not. Even an honest hey-your-choking-me-to-death cough gets an eye roll from her, there's no way I'm asking how many packs per day old smokey's up to. I dared mentioned the patch to her one day and she was like "blah blah blah *puff* *puff* you &^%$%@$#!! *puff* *puff*". Her smoking was another of the subtleties of a deep southern lifestyle I picked-up on during my visit; commonalities there which are now taboo or at least uncommon here. I began noticing things while at home for mom's funeral but even more came into play without the fog of grief or covered dishes coming through the door at all hours. Like in south Mississippi, where mom and dad are, a quick trip to the nearest market for a gallon of my beloved skim milk turned into a two hour trek which bared no fruit. Seriously, skim milk is impossible to find in the deep, deep recesses of the south. At least two store clerks told me I could likely find some "to the Super Wal Marts".... some of them put an 'S' at the end of Wal Mart, don't ask me why. But is it REALLY necessary to find the Super Wal Mart just to satisfy my evening craving for skim milk? In Tylertown, Mississipi, you bet your sweet possum it is. RJ's town is Lafayette, a mid-sized city in the heart of 'Acadiana', local term for Cajun country. It has two shopping malls, lots of crawfish and tons of shopping to pacify the SUV-cruising oil field housewives. As Louisiana goes, Lafayette is provincial; sprawling and clean, a nice enough place to raise a family, if that's your thing. The economy is still firing on all cylinders but I assume they'll catch up with the rest of the country on that soon enough. That being said, recycling seems to be a foreign concept to the masses there. Asking one of the kids where the recycle bin was one morning got me a confused look that turned into a stink-eye when I grumbled about wasting another can. Maybe it's a new yankee trait I've picked up, and maybe it's just raw concern about growing landfills, but I've grown intolerable of ditching cans and plastics into trash cans. What a waste, right? Not down home, all's the same as it ever was and why not? Land comes cheap. RJ assures me I can have a room when global warming hits the Northeast. ]]> tag:www.badboyscout.com,2008://1.525 2008-05-06T22:30:05Z 2008-05-06T22:46:10Z

I saw this big ass Captain America on the side of a comic book store down in Lafayette, Louisiana last week. Do you love it? I do. So much in fact, I kept pointing it out to people who...

JD I saw this big ass Captain America on the side of a comic book store down in Lafayette, Louisiana last week. Do you love it? I do. So much in fact, I kept pointing it out to people who live there each time we passed it, sometimes on the way to the Drive-Thru Daiquiri Shop. Yeah, they really have those down there. Anyway, I love Captain America. This store made me love him even more. Whoever had the idea to put it there, I love you too. ]]> tag:www.badboyscout.com,2008://1.522 2008-05-05T15:42:04Z 2008-05-05T16:02:04Z

Mildred Loving passed away this weekend, she was 68 years old. Know who she is? I didn't either until I saw her name, but I know all about her marriage. See, 40 years ago Mildred married Richard, but the Commonwealth...

JD Mildred Loving passed away this weekend, she was 68 years old. Know who she is? I didn't either until I saw her name, but I know all about her marriage. See, 40 years ago Mildred married Richard, but the Commonwealth of Virginia arrested them both for the effort. That's because Rich was white and Mildred was black. But the Lovings fought back against a state and nation who said they had no right to live as husband and wife because of their difference in race. Their fight lead to a landmark U.S. Supreme Court ruling striking down all laws barring people from interracial marriage. And now, for the irony. 41 years later one man sits on that same Supreme Court, himself a black man who lives a life made possible by the Lovings. Justice Clarence Thomas you see is black, if you didn't know that already; and his wife, she's white. But see, what's good for Clarence isn't good for me. Clarence has been among the most aggressive members of the court voting against the rights of same sex couples to marry. For some reason, two guys being in love and deciding to share their lives as legally-recognized spouses is simply too much for Clarence to handle. Yeah, I know, I thought the same thing. I've noticed the past two weeks while visiting family that when I mention the basic rights I live without, usually in the context of a half-witted statement, my nieces and nephew give me a careful laugh, not knowing if Uncle Jay is really serious about it. That's sort of like the rest of the country. While most might empathize with me, few take the issue seriously. But the truth is, a majority of states say I can be jailed just for sleeping with the wrong person; and only one says I'm free to marry who the hell I please. Two more say they'll let me but I have to call it something different. Such things make flag waving a little hard to do these days, especially knowing some 10-15% of the people now fighting for "our freedom" in Iraq will come home with the same lack of civil rights. They serve their country by choice, but are forced to do so in the closet. Sad, don't you think? ]]> tag:www.badboyscout.com,2008://1.520 2008-04-21T02:20:47Z 2008-04-21T02:42:08Z

That's a FLOWER pot, and from the looks of it my two nephews were having a good go of it in RJ's backyard this weekend while their Uncle Danny and Uncle Chip and Auntie Taunt helped dress-up RJ's new...

JD That's a FLOWER pot, and from the looks of it my two nephews were having a good go of it in RJ's backyard this weekend while their Uncle Danny and Uncle Chip and Auntie Taunt helped dress-up RJ's new yard for a very important guest due this week. That's Jacob holding Keegan, I wrote about him a few times a while back. My preferred short name for him is "Keg" and he's adorable; The kind of baby you'd like to bite the ears off of but I wouldn't recommend it. His mom's got a temper. Ouch. ]]> tag:www.badboyscout.com,2008://1.518 2008-04-18T12:51:28Z 2008-04-18T13:19:02Z

I run a little on the conservative side but this shit was over the top, even for me. Having coffee and watching local ABC News coverage of Pope Benedict's departure from Andrews Air Force Base in D.C. on his way...

JD I run a little on the conservative side but this shit was over the top, even for me. Having coffee and watching local ABC News coverage of Pope Benedict's departure from Andrews Air Force Base in D.C. on his way to New York, I choked-up when seeing a member of the U.S. Military's departure party bend down and kiss his ring, and not in a good way. There's a Founding Father turning over in his vault somewhere. It might be easy enough to pass it off as a simple mistake of military protocol if it hadn't been for the officer making worshipful prayer hands and bowing to "His Holiness" not once but twice. Perhaps more. At that point, I was dry heaving. Just where does this man's alligiance lie and why hasn't the military made him aware of this gaff and its insult to those of us who don't worship foreign leaders in white gowns and Prada slippers? Shame on you! Click for Larger Image Click for Larger Image ]]> tag:www.badboyscout.com,2008://1.516 2008-04-17T13:36:29Z 2008-04-17T14:21:56Z

When I say I'm sick of the long-toothed, tired and over-played phenomenon that is American Idol, don't tell me to change the channel: It isn't that easy. True, its novelty has been that it's a good old fashioned talent show,...

JD When I say I'm sick of the long-toothed, tired and over-played phenomenon that is American Idol, don't tell me to change the channel: It isn't that easy. True, its novelty has been that it's a good old fashioned talent show, or at least it was. Now though it just seems like a tarnished jewel in a giant marketing crown complete with seasonal cliches. Oh look, there's the boyish teen phenom who's adored and cried-over by chubby girls. There's the goofy looking guy who also seems to be adored while suffering some major family drama back home. He sings not for himself, but for his lawyer brother suffering from cancer. *eye roll*. There's the over-singing black girl who hits all the high notes and quivers her way down to the low ones, the small gaggle of pretty blond girls who became convinced they could sing by all their cheerleader friends back home in Atlanta/Omaha/Chicago. There's the tattooed hippie chick, watch her go from belting-out hard rock tunes worthy of making Pat Benator hold a lighter over her head, to a soft torch song dedicated to all her pub friends back home. She's SOOO 'edgy'. And there's my anti-favorite, the Earthy cool white guy with the face of an Aryan poster boy and "dreamy" blue eyes but look, he plays the guitar, wears tattered jeans, flannel shirts and one bad ass set of dreadlocks. If he doesn't make it here, he'll be king of Seattle. *YACK* When will the flyover love affair with this mess be over? It isn't escapable. Buy a Coke and there it is, something being shilled for or by the marketing geniuses behind American Idol or, as fans refer to it, "A.I.". And no matter it's a Fox Network program, we get morning updates on NBC's Early Show, CBS' Today Show, ABC's Good Morning America. The network anchors are not immune from it's grasp, it must be mentioned, it's what American viewers expect. Less than 25% of registered American voters cast ballots in the last presidential election but bet your sweet latte most every American with a television or Internet access can tell you who the three judges are on American Idol, and a huge percentage of those can give you an accurate lineup of the final 7 contestants. I can't name all 7, but I can tell you who the favorites are and what songs they sang last night. Yeah I know but it isn't my fault, it's Tom's. How can you miss something playing on a 70" hi-def plasma? It isn't like I had plans last night. Still, there's got to be something else, something non political to capture our national obsession. This one program has become like a bad song, the kind you can't get out of your head, or off your television. ]]>